Chapter Text
Dying sucks. Dying to a random punk with a gun who screamed about how I would pay for sleeping with his girlfriend, sister and mother. And also for doing so again with more than one of them. Like kid...
You got any idea how little that narrows it down?!
So yeah; I died to a punk with a gun, that I had absolutely no idea about who he was, because he could not live with the knowledge of the sheerpowerI held between my legs! My very own special Gae Bolg!
Oh well, as American president Obama says, haters gonna hate.
This also properly taught me that if you arenota comic or anime character, no amount of martial art training will save you ass from getting shot from behind. And that you can't extract unholy vengeance upon the perpetrator while bleeding out with a bullet in you.
But as my gran mama always says, there is a silver lining in every situation. It would have been a lot more meaningful if she hadn't told me after fragging my uncle after he tried to sell us out to the police but… meh, she was still correct.
Anyway, as I was saying, the silver lining. Well the silver lining here was sitting right in front of me. Literally.
"So… you are a part of the Waifu Catalog company?" I hesitantly asked as I slowly drank from the cup the man before me gave me. Green tea, he had good taste.
"While we do not actually use such a title, yes. Yes I am from the company you speak of." The man said as he too drank from his cup.
Honestly, if it wasn't for his pale white hair that did not suit his young visage and the 'Phantom of Opera' mask that covered his right eye, I would have never doubted him being something like an office worker. He even had the tiredness of one in his sole uncovered eye.
"And… you guys want me to be a contractor?"
"Yes, that is what I just said." The man(?) said and kept drinking like he didn't just offer me to become a multiversal enemy of free will that would become similar to that of a warlord.
"Why me?" Sure one could say something about gift horses and mouths but well… let's just say such an ugly mouth can end up smelling less than pleasant later on.
"Hmm, because I am the one doing the recruiting." The man said and put his cup down.
"Now then, explanations. You need to understand that among those who were considered to be candidates for becoming a contractor, you are abitspecial."
"I find thathard to believe." I said before taking another sip from my green tea. A business deal that tells you that you are special, that never ends well.
"Maybe not in the way you think sir but I assure you you arequitespecial among other candidates." He said with a chuckle.
"You see, those who are chosen by our company tend to be rather… extreme. Not simply in their methods but they always end up in a certain group. Those who are reluctant, those who see this job as an abomination and that is as beings that they should destroy with their waifus and lastly, assholes." He took another sip.
"And I don't say that lightly. I am talking about guys who use our companies resources to f*ck a daughter or a wife right in front of their father or their husband.Maniacswho do it for sh*ts and giggles." He said with a frown, guess he doesn't have a high opinion on them. Rather unexpected considering his profession.
"It's not like I don't understand theenthusiasmbut there needs to be a way where you have to act proper. Doing such a thing just because rather than against someone who thought they could wrong you?How pointless." He said before gulping the rest of his drink in one go, I guess it had contained somethingstrongerthan green tea.
"What makes you special is that you are evil enough to do such things but have manners. You are evil because it is convenient, not for sh*ts and giggles! You kinda remind me ofmyselfwhen I was a contractor." He said with a chuckle and… wait…
"You were a contractor?" I said, a bit more wearier than before.
"Oh yes, eons ago before I retired. Then I got bored and ended up being scouted by the higher ups in the company. Ahh good old days as a psychopomp, I still keep some of my waifus. Aria should be just about finishing her punishment, it is quite pleasant to listen to a once bratty royal girlwailingas she begs for a release." He said and I was once more reminded exactly what kind of man was in front of me, a man that had likely spent centuries in multiverse, enslaving others for his own pleasure.
…not that my former family business was much different. Just on a smaller scale. A far smaller scale.
"I accept." I nodded and drank the last of my green tea.
"Wonderful, then please take a look at these options."
And look at them I did. There were a few that had been an interesting thought like RWBY and My Hero Academia that I decided not to.
And then there were options that I practicallyyeetedout of my mind like Nasuverse and Worm.
In the end I found something that hit my interest.
"'Naruto:Alternate Universe'?" I tilted my head to the side, a bit confused.
"Oh yes, that is a new one. It is a tier seven world but that is mostly due to the more realistic and adult realities in the world along with some other changes. Like people who should have been dead being alive or some people being born early or born late or some people being the wrong gender. That kinda thing." He explained as he took a sip from a new cup that appeared in his hand out of nowhere.
"Though, may I make a suggestion." He put the cup down and looked at me with aGendo Ikaripose.
"If you choose extra as your origin, I believe I may be able to change things in the world. Make the backstories of waifus you bought into that world more prominent and your own as well, not to mention more advantageous." That sounded suspicious as hell.
"And you would do that because…" I trailed off and the former enslaver now recruiter smiled.
"I know of your browser history and know that you would make some choices that are considered less than popular. Like using Tempest Jewelry." He smiled as I flinched, not exactly happy but unsurprised about how much he knew about me.
And me using jewels… not gonna lie using the stamp always felt disappointing to me. No real reason for it but it just felt… lacking. The cloak on the other hand had always seemed a bit too pricy and the tantric arts a bit too complex. And I wasn't gonna use f*cking hypno app in Naruto.
"So I am guessing you have a rough idea what kind of build I would do in such a situation." I said with a resigned tone and he smiled at me.
"Yes and I have to say I am rather happy to recruit a man whose first instinct isn't to become a dragon. Never understood what was the great deal about those lizards. Other than waifu dragons of course." I wanted to defend the dragons, dragons were awesome. But they weren't awesome enough to argue with a being that was literally giving me a new life of a power fantasy. Even if I didn't want to JUST collect waifus. That was more of a bonus for my adventure.
"And any drawbacks for you helping me?" Cause there was always a downside.
"Hmm, oh yeah that. You won't get to leave the world until you have completed the timeframe of the original story. As in you have to put some actual work in there unlike the people who just get one waifu and run away." He ended with grumbling.
For a recruiter of an multiversal slavery company, he really was like a normal businessman on the outside.
Oh well, time to make the build.